Snarky Vegan

DH and I were having a discussion about our preferred type of cornbread—sweet or not.

Suffice it to say, this discussion escalated into the relevance of personality types in making such a choice. WHICH of course, made me wonder if we’re that much different than everyone else.

So, which type of cornbread are you? Don’t worry, your answer is only between you and your keyboard (although everyone else likely has you pegged).

This Christmas, I was hankerin’ for some serious southern cooking. Maybe it’s my way of remembering mom, this being our first Christmas without her. Not that I visited as often as I should, I was a terrible daughter. Take it from me, if it’s not too late for you, call your mom now or better yet, go visit her. Don’t wait for regrets later. And certainly don’t think that just because she’s ‘not that old’, that nothing could happen.

There was a while when mom was kinda hard up and had to move in with me when I lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. I wasn’t really vegetarian at the time and vegan wasn’t even on the radar yet. But I really didn’t look forward to coming home to a sausage or hamburger based dinner. And she really tried to be a good roommate by cooking dinner and all, but didn’t understand what was so gross about the foods I grew up with. And I really didn’t know enough about cooking to provide any alternatives at the time.

Why am I rambling on about this? I think it’s because black-eyed peas and sausage, even vegan style, remind me of family. They make me think of the family sitting around grandma’s table eating corn bread pancakes, beans and everything bad for you. Or everyone sitting outside on cheap aluminum lawn chairs stringing beans, shelling peas and shucking corn for the canning season. I guess black-eyed peas are part of my memory palate. Like that dry, totally not sweet, super sturdy cornbread all the women in my family made. And all the jelly and preserves we put up every fall. Everything went into grandma’s cellar and we all shared from that stash. I was always too afraid to go into the cellar because it had no lights, a mud floor, flooded when it rained and mom swore she once encountered a snake down there. It sounded as dreadful as grandpappy’s outhouse in Foxtown, Kentucky. Nope, I left it to the adults to retrieve all the canned goods on an as needed basis.

So, anyway, I’m getting a little off track here. Ah, yes, the recipe. This is so insanely easy and you don’t need a ham hock nor do you need to stew dried peas for hours. This is the easy way out and still reminds me of home.

Black-Eyed Peas and Sausage (shown above with the collard greens option)

• 2 regular cans of black-eyed peas, NOT drained
• 1 8-ounce package of Upton’s Naturals Chorizo Sausage-Style Seitan, chopped or crumbled
• 1 cup of water with 2 Not-Chick’n’ broth cubes dissolved
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• a dribble (or about 3 T.) of olive oil
• salt

1. Saute the onion in the oil until translucent and slightly crispy at the edges.
2. Add the Upton’s Sausage-Style Seitan and saute another 5 minutes or so, tossing with the onion.
3. Add the canned peas along with their fluids and the dissolved broth. Give it a good stir and add more water if needed. Enough water to just cover the mess underneath.
4. Cover and simmer for about an hour to mix all the flavors.
5. At this point, I like to use a potato masher in the pot while it’s simmering to mash up some of the peas but not all of them. I have an immersion blender but I don’t want to blend the sausage, just mash the mess a wee bit. This also makes the broth a tad thicker although you do want to keep it a bit on the brothy side rather than the thickness of chili.
6. Adjust salt if needed.
7. Serve by itself in a soup bowl with a side of corn bread. If you’re not so traditional, you can also serve it over brown rice.

Collard Greens and Black-Eyed Peas: I’ve also made this with a goodly bunch of chopped collard greens added after mashing the peas. This required another 30 minutes to cook down the collards but results in a very traditional-tasting black-eyed peas and collard greens dish full of vitamins but without the cholesterol.

A Note About Specific Products Mentioned

If you use anything other than the Upton’s sausage seitan or the Not-Chick’n broth, I can’t vouch for the results. These two combined sounds like a lot of seasonings but honestly, the broth that results is sooo good it will pass for an authentic pot-liquor. Just don’t forget the cornbread so you won’t have to use a straw.

This is sooo yummy. Excellent comfort food and you could easily substitute white rice for the black that I’ve used here. Just to clarify, I did not use the black wild rice that’s long and skinny. I picked up a bag labeled Korean Black Rice at my local Japanese grocery. It’s a short grain, very sticky and somewhat purple when cooked.

Yeah, it looks like refried black beans in the photos but you’ll notice if you make it, it has a really nice subtly sweet syrup.

This recipe makes plenty of pudding for leftovers. I packed most of it in tiny containers for bento lunches and am freezing some. Don’t forget to garnish with chopped pistachios.

Yummy Black Rice Pudding

• 3 c. cooked black Korean rice
• 1 c. sugar
• 1 can 14 ounces coconut milk
• 1 t. cinnamon
• 1/2 t. cardamom
• 1 star anise, whole
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/4 c. white raisins
• chopped pistachios for garnish

1. Simmer coconut milk with sugar and spices until sugar is dissolved.
2. Add rice and raisins.
3. Simmer for 30 minutes, uncovered, until reduced to thicker consistency.
4. Remove whole star anise and serve sprinkled with chopped pistachios.

Makes 4 nice sized portions.

It would also be good garnished with freshly grated coconut.

Yeah, I’m seriously late to the game and just tried kale this week for the very first time. It wasn’t anything like I expected. From all the web chatter, I expected something bitter and tough but it wasn’t like that at all. In fact, I just purchased a bag of prewashed and chopped kale at the grocery and it was fine. I didn’t even separate the stems from the leaves and parboil first. Nope, it was MUCH easier than expected:

EZ Kale with Corn

• 1 bag of chopped, prewashed kale
• 1 shallot, chopped fine
• 2 T. olive oil
• 1/2 cup water with 1 cube of Not-Chick’n dissolved
• 2 cups of frozen corn
• salt and white pepper to taste

1. Saute shallot in oil.
2. Add kale, corn and broth and toss
3. Salt and season with white pepper to taste.
4. Saute until wilted well but not army green, should still be bright green

Serve with other foods or you’ll do as I did and fill up on kale, resulting in cabbage-like gastronomical issues. Better to mix your foods folks.

I’ve now bought 3 logs of Teese cheddar and have gone through two of them. The first was used for quicky mac ‘n teese, you read about this in round 1. The second was completely used for grilled teese sandwiches and it wasn’t bad at all. MUCH better than that square yellow brick you get at Whole Paycheck.

I also tried many variations and several methods to melt the Teese. Here’s a synopsis:

1. Traditional Skillet-Grilled Teese Cheddar Sandwich: Melt Earth Balance in skillet. THINLY slice Teese and place on bread in skillet. Top with diced green onions and cover. Heat over low as long as it takes to melt the Teese. This was iffy on my part because I got impatient and turned the heat up to medium. BAD IDEA if you don’t like blackened toast. Go easy on it. When it’s starting to melt, top with other slice of bread and turn over.
2. Traditional Skillet-Grilled Teese Cheddar and Peanut Butter Sandwich: YEAH! I was goin’ for serious goo and got it. Earth Balance in the skillet, Teese on the bread, peanut butter on the other slice and in the pan it goes. This is actually a hold over from when I was a kid. Our neighbor lady used to serve grilled cheese and peanut butter sandwiches to us and it was sooooo yummy. Evidently my memory enhanced the flavors a tad, it wasn’t as good now that I’m an adult.
3. Lower-Fat Melted Teese Cheddar Sandwich: To cut back on fat, I also tried toasting the bread, then adding THINLY sliced Teese cheddar along with green onions and THINLY sliced tomato then nuking it in the nukebox for 15 to 30 seconds. Warning: the thinner the slices, the less time in the nukebox. Watch through the window and don’t take your eyes off it. Once it starts to melt, it runs quickly.
4. Higher-Fat Melted Teese Cheddar Sandwich: Ditto with number 3 but added a smear of mayo on other slice of bread and a strip of Fakin’ Bacon. Yummy but higher in fat.

All in all, Teese is pretty darned good for grilled cheese sandwiches done either in the skillet or toasted and nuked. It’s best if you get innovative with your other toppings. Really good with green onions, tomato and Fakin’ Bacon.

Sorry, no photos. As usual, I waited until I was starving and then ate them right away. NOT all at once mind you!

Now, what to do with that third log….

[Editor's Note: Following is the cover letter than went out with my DH's annual Squirrel Christmas Song email to his friends and followers of all things squirrelly. Since vegans tend to like most critters in general, I thought I'd share this with you. Cheers! Julia]

o my fellow sciurus lovers

It has been an interesting squirrel year. As you know, “interesting” is often used as a euphemism for “tainted by unforeseen impediments.” In this case it has to do with neighbors whose garden was, unbelievably, not intended for squirrels, and whose attic, incredibly, was not meant for rodent habitation.

Now, this is a Christmas missive so I won’t go into the unpleasantries of neighborly disputes. I will, however, say that when you wish to confront one of your neighbors concerning their wildlife-feeding habits, you should never begin with the phrase, “I have squirrels in my attic.” This is akin to the Hunchback of Notre Dame saying, “I have bats in my belfry.” Whilst it may be true in a literal sense, it does tend to take the wind out of one’s argument. At any rate, a certain truce was drawn up with said neighbor which included my no longer feeding the squirrels in our backyard.

As you can imagine, this has caused considerable distress in my life. The squirrels don’t understand this truce at all and still show their hungry faces at our window. Perhaps that’s why they’ve now moved into our attic. They do that to people who don’t feed them. And it doesn’t help that our Christmas decorations are stored up there. Perfect for sprucing up the old nest around this time of year.

So, lately I’ve been trying to understand what drives squirrels to tap dance in the wee hours. I thought they were supposed to be diurnal creatures, yet I can hear the little Arthur Furries up there strutting their stuff at all hours. I should add that I’m only assuming they’re squirrels, as I’ve never caught them in the act. A 170-pound man creaking up the attic stairs of a 100-year-old house has never been known to catch anything other than hell for making such a racket. However, other evidence has presented itself in the form of very audible squirrel chatter emanating from the plaster overhead. Squirrels dancing with the stars. And moon.

Since they seem to be having a regular hootenanny up there, I decided to give this year’s squirrel song a little country-midwestern flavor. In doing so, I brought my friend, Mindy, in as a guest vocalist — she’s a Midwest gal and she also lives in the country. The USA, to be exact. Perfect. Plus she can hit those notes that I can’t, now that my voice is changing.

Anyway, the whole point of this is that Christmas is hands-down the best holiday. It’s spirit is infectious and it’s intentions are pure. And squirrels are hands-down my favorite rodent. Their spirit is infectious and their intentions are purely singular: hoard, baby, hoard.

So sit back, pour yourself a cup of whatever, click on the link and give “Happy Holidrey” a listen. While you’re at it, you can listen to the squirrel songs from Christmases past. I think I can safely say, you’ll hear them nowhere else.

Above all, have a very, very merry happy holidrey!

Squirrelfully yours,
Peter

Just an FYI for squirrel fans and animal lovers in general, DH’s 2008 xmas song is just about ready for prime time. He’s wrapping up background vocals and final mix over the next few days. Hopefully, this means the song will go out via email later this week, barely under the wire. He’s cutting it kinda close this year do to a new recording method he’s trying out. That and he broke a few pickin’ nails and had to wait for them to grow back to complete the guitar track.

If you want to be on the email list to receive immediate notice of the new song, send me your email address and then add Peter Martz, peter at mondovox dot com to your address book. This will lessen the likelyhood of the email notice going into your junk folder.

Also make sure your computer can play MP3s. On the Mac, it just does so I don’t really know what you’d need to do on the PC side.

If you want to hear his past songs, go here: http://www.mondovox.com/squirrel07/index.html

We’ll likely change the URL to something more permanant so we don’t have to keep changing it in future years, maybe something like …/squirrel_xmas_songs or some such thing. That will be confirmed in the email after the 2008 song is posted.

And for rabid squirrel nuts, he also wrote a song for the city of Olney, Illinois. They’ve adopted it as their official city song and it’s about their white squirrels. It can be found here: http://www.mondovox.com/Olney/

Cheers and merry stuff and all…

Julia

Well, I finally picked up a tube of the newly released Teese® cheddar cheese. My first goal was to see how easy and quick it would be to make something akin to the old Kraft mac ‘n cheese box crap we had as kids. Yeah, nostalgia has me hankering for crap once again.

The Teese was insanely easy to use and melted beautifully but the taste wasn’t quite there yet. I think I’m going to have to keep experimenting but here’s what I did during round 1:

• 1 log of Teese® cheddar, shredded in a processor for easier melting
• 1 shallot quartered and sliced thinly on a mandolin
• Earth Balance margarine, a glop
• about 1/2 to 3/4 c. rice milk
• 1 pound of whole wheat pasta shells

1. Boil pasta shells and drain in sink. Transfer to large bowl.
2. In same pot, melt butter and saute shallots until translucent.
3. Add Teese® cheese and a dribble of soy or rice milk, start stirring to melt. Keep stirring until melted. Only add more milk if you’re certain it needs to be thinner.
4. When all cheese is melted, pour over pasta and toss.

Verdict: Looked like old-fashioned mac ‘n cheese. Easy, no brainer, but doesn’t taste exactly like the Kraft stuff. That may be ok with some folks but I want to perfect crap first and then perhaps the Holy Grail. I’m going to buy another log of Teese and try a few more things, like adding some of the ingredients from a non-Teese recipe. Maybe a little dijon and touch of garlic. Maybe a tad more salt. Paprika. Or nutmeg. But no nutritional yeast, that stuff is rank.

Sorry, no photo, wasn’t worth it. Looked exactly like yellow Kraft mac ‘n cheese, just didn’t taste quite there yet. Still yummy though.

DH once again didn’t eat the lunch I made the other day and after seeing my frustration, decided to tell me EXACTLY what he likes:

• peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or toast with PB&J
• my home made potato salad
• that chickpea curry I get from a bag (Kitchens of India brand Pindi Chana)
• those spicy potato fries (Cajun fries from VwaV, page 115)
• that salad I make with my home made Asian dressing
• tomato sandwiches with lettuce and mayo
• carrot slaw with mayo and raisins

If I make spaghetti, it can’t contain any fake meats.

If I make chili, it can’t contain any fake meats or vegetables not befitting a chili (no carrots for example).

No weird vegetables like swiss chard, kohlrabi, brussel sprouts or broccoli.

Nothing with too much garlic.

And absolutely NOTHING containing rosemary, sage or thyme.

As you can see, if I make him a lunch with a tomato/lettuce/mayo sandwich, potato salad and carrot slaw, it will be quite fatty due to the mayo. Even if I sub out my Asian salad for the slaw or potato salad, it still contains sesame and peanut oils in the dressing. UGH! I can’t win. I’ve got a gazillion cookbooks and nothing he likes. I guess it’s back to basics.

Or, I could just pack him a bag of fruit, so long as there aren’t any bananas in it.

Ok, this is a quickie, no garnishes and poor photography. Would really benefit from a spring onion or chive garnish on the dip itself. Made the black bean dip really fast this morning.

Contents:

• Black bean dip, recipe below
• Green beans
• Mushrooms stuffed with bean dip
• Dippers are red pepper and kohlrabi slices

Black Bean Dip

I didn’t measure unfortunately because I was in a hurry. I just kept adding spices until it was yummy. Here’s approximately what I did:

• 1 large can of black beans
• 2 glops of minced garlic from a jar
• about a T. powdered onion
• about 1 t. ground fennel
• about 1 t. cumin
• dribbles of jalapeno hot sauce until it was spicy enough
• no more than 1 t. liquid smoke
• salt

All that in a food processor and process while chopping veggie scoopers. Taste and adjust salt, hot sauce and liquid smoke. Go easy on the liquid smoke, it can get too smoky tasting.

If you garnish yours, it will look nicer than mine. Maybe take time to top with shredded Teese® Cheddar or Nacho Cheese. I didn’t have time to do that this morning but will next time. You can get Teese® cheeses in Chicago at the Green Grocer.