Massaging avocado into her kale always aroused her faster than watching Sam Elliott in Roadhouse. “Seriously, I should just keep an extra vibrator in the kitchen,” Evie mused, leering at her Blendtec. No, she would never force herself on her favorite kitchen toy no matter how much kale she massaged. Besides, the cord wasn’t long enough.
Plus, she still had the rest of dinner to prepare. At least the hottie she met at the Bone Yard the night before wasn’t due to arrive for another hour. If he were here now, she was positive he wouldn’t get a chance to try her kale.
Kale is a great leafy green for dinner salads since it stays firm for hours.
Massaged Kale Salad with Avocado and Marinated Beans
Make marinated beans a day ahead by mixing:
- 1 can beans, rinsed and drained (use garbanzos if fava beans aren’t your type)
- 1 clove garlic, pressed
- juice from 1/2 lemon (reserve remaining juice for assembling the salad)
- handful of parsley, chopped
Assembling the salad:
- 1 avocado
- juice from 1/2 lemon (or more if you like lemon)
- salt to taste
- 1 big bunch of kale, chopped
- 1 large roma tomato or 2 small, chopped
- Chop and mash the avocado with the lemon juice.
- Add kale and massage until kale is about half the bulk that it was originally. Salt as desired.
- Plate kale and sprinkle with chopped tomatoes, marinated beans, and extra avocado if you have some right before serving.
TIP: You can plate the massaged kale ahead of time because it stays firm for as long as you need. But don’t dress it with additional chunks of avocado until right before serving since they will brown quickly.
IDEAS: This is actually a very flexible salad. I find fava beans to be a tad earthy so I’ll likely try garbanzos in the next batch. Some folks like lots of lemon and others, not so much. If you have a vampire problem, then of course, add more garlic. I always use more avocado than a normal person would but I’m an avocado junky. The point is, once you’ve got your kale massaged, you can top it with a wide variety of veggies.
October 4, 2012 at 10:53 am
If she brings the massaged kale and he brings the marinated beans I think we have a potluck made in heaven.
Sounds good! I wonder what this might be like with a few mint leaves added? Or basil leaves instead of parsley?
October 4, 2012 at 12:36 pm
I think you could do just about anything with the beans. I can’t wait to try garbanzos with basil, grated lemon rind, and a tad cayenne. Not sure about mint, I’m not a big mint fan so I’m not the right person to try that.
October 4, 2012 at 12:08 pm
And the plot thickens :) Love the idea of marinating beans, I haven’t done that before!
October 4, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Lee at The Vegan version recommends cooking the beans slightly like her father does when he makes Foule. And that may actually help with the earthy toothiness of fava beans but I don’t think it’d be needed with softer beans or garbanzos.
October 4, 2012 at 12:15 pm
“No, she would never force herself on her favorite kitchen toy no matter how much kale she massaged.” – Definitely my favorite line! This is too funny! And the kale looks good too,
October 4, 2012 at 12:40 pm
Mine too! Thanks!
October 7, 2012 at 7:12 am
[...] Julia at SnarkyVegan is doing a “50 Shades of Kale” theme for VeganMoFo; check out her Massaged Kale Salad with Avocado and Marinated Beans, which is hilarious to read and, I’m sure, delicious to eat. It’s the fourth in a [...]
October 7, 2012 at 11:28 am
Kale massaged with ripe avocado and citrus juice is the basis of my favorite salads. Since kale is on the top of the nutritional scale I try to eat it every day. Now that I have discovered this way to prepare kale I rarely cook it anymore. I first had kale salad at Dr. Joel Fuhrman’s 2012 Health Getaway. One recipe was prepared in a more traditional green salad style with chopped tomatoes, onions, garlic, etc. The other recipe is my favorite with chopped apples (I prefer red skinned apples as they add color), minced onions and garlic, and a bit of fresh granted ginger kicks up the flavor. To make this a full meal I throw in some cooked legumes (whatever variety sounds good and I have precooked and frozen). I prefer the curly leaf varieties of kale for these salads. This is one of those dishes you enjoy chewing for a long time to get out all the nutrition. Can’t wait to explore lots of other combinations and flavors and would love to hear what others like.
October 7, 2012 at 3:32 pm
Susan, I agree, kale it totally amazing this way. You could almost top it with anything and it would be great. Do you have a blog with your own recipes? I’ve love to read them.
October 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Hi Julie,
Nice to have you reply. I am much more of a cook than a blogger. To tell the truth this is my first ever blog…shocking, I know. So the answer to your question about my having a blog of my own, is obviously yes. I would not have a clue how to go about it, sorry to say, but maybe I need to learn!
I have just discovered snarky vegan and fat free vegan blogs and their wonderful recipes to help me with my new vegan cooking. I am also avoid the use of oil, sugar, salt, processed foods when at all possible. This has been quite a change for me, but I love almost everything I make…I especially like different raw salads…I get tired of the more traditional “tossed” lettuce and veggie salads.
Tomorrow I will make a slaw with jicama, cabbage, radicchio, mango, watermelon tossed with a creamy lime dressing. It is very healthy and so delicious. I think of it as more of a summer salad but who cares. If you are interested in the recipe I can post it at this site (if that is OK with snarky vegan).
I try to eat cabbage often and have found many yummy slaw recipes that are nothing like old fashioned cole slaw.
How long have you been a vegan? Do you cook a lot?
October 7, 2012 at 9:07 pm
Susan,
You really should set up your own blog, it is sooooo easy to do you won’t believe it. Rather than put your recipes in the comments of someone else’s blog (like this one), you should create your own where you can control your story, tell it as you’re trying new foods, and control your recipes on your terms. If my blog should ever cease to exist, your comments here would be gone, and thus any recipes you post in them.
I know it seems daunting but it really isn’t very difficult. Just go to wordpress.com and create your first account. Then pick a theme and start typing.
EZ peeezy ;-)
I’ve been vegan since 2004, I do tend to cook more when we’re not so busy at work.
Good luck!
October 8, 2012 at 2:50 pm
Julie,
I will check out your blog suggestions. Easy sounds great to me. At the moment I am exhausted after grocery shopping all morning, putting things away, and then cooking lots of good recipes. I don’t cook every day but rather prepare multiple servings of different things on one day and east off of then for the week or freeze servings for future use.
Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll get back on this blog when I have more time.
Smile and don’t worry about the kale between you teeth. Susan
October 8, 2012 at 3:20 am
You know… I’ve never massaged my kale before. What is the purpose of that? Does it change the texture? I love me some kale, but I never liked it in salad form. I’m wondering if massaging it will change that for me. I do have all of the ingredients on hand to whip this up for lunch tomorrow. I might just give kale salad another go. I’m also planning on having your chik’n and dumplings for dinner. Guess Monday’s a Snarky Vegan kinda day. ;)
October 8, 2012 at 10:55 am
Massaging it totally changed the texture! You must do this at once LOL! Massaging breaks down the cell walls and makes it much softer. It also decreases the overall bulk by about 2/3s, depending on how much you massage it. Raw kale without massaging is really hard to chew, takes forever to eat and is kinda boring (to me anyway).
Susan gives a great description of the texture shift on her Vegan Mofo post from yesterday: http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2012/10/massaged-kale-salad-with-sweet-potatoes-and-pumpkin-seed-dressing.html
Kale can take a lot of abuse. You cannot really over massage it, it only gets better. I even read on someone’s Mofo post yesterday that they dry massaged it which blows me away. THAT, I didn’t know you could do. Although I think a little lubricant would only speed things along (wink wink).
So get that kale massaged, or get thee to a nunnery, yo!
October 9, 2012 at 11:49 am
You are hilarious! I love your blog!
October 9, 2012 at 2:32 pm
Thanks! Hoping I can keep it up for a month.
October 9, 2012 at 3:35 pm
Since it stays firm for hours. Snicker snicker. I love this theme!
October 9, 2012 at 5:47 pm
Glad you’re enjoying the theme! I hope I don’t run out of innuendo by end of the month :-o
October 12, 2012 at 9:34 am
Looking forward to massaging my kale. Love the blog – hilarious and hot! Cannot wait to try the recipes.
October 12, 2012 at 11:28 am
It’s funny, every time I massage kale, I’m amazed all over again. Like I forgot that yesterday the kale shrunk to 1/3 of it’s size. Magic!
October 14, 2012 at 5:47 pm
[...] MASSAGED KALE SALAD with AVOCADO & MARINATED BEANS [...]
January 18, 2013 at 3:42 pm
Would like your web site e-mail sign-up. Thanks!!!
January 22, 2013 at 1:00 pm
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