This is the easiest thing in the world, short of opening a banana of course!

But a little background first: I suck at making biscuits. I can’t emphasize this enough! In fact, my biscuits can be used a weapons. They may even contain shrapnel if you could devise a way to get them to explode.

So with that in mind, I posted a plea via Twitter for a dummy-proof biscuit recipe that even I couldn’t screw up. @slc_vgn (http://amanda-eats-slc.blogspot.com/) came to my rescue with the suggestion to try Bisquick® baking mix because it is actually vegan. Who knew?! Certainly not me.

So, I went to the grocery to read the label and man, this stuff isn’t really the most healthy thing in the store. It contains partially hydrogenated fats but I think so long as you don’t make it a daily staple, not so bad maybe?

Anyway, here’s that I came up with after searching the Internet. Although Chow.com used real cheese, I subbed Daiya:

Beer Biscuits with Daiya® Cheddar Cheese

Preheat oven to 450° F for 6 bigass biscuits

  • 2 cups Bisquick® mix
  • 1/2 cup shredded Daiya® cheddar flavored
  • 2/3 cup beer (I used Negra Modelo)
  1. Be absolutely certain the oven is preheated before you start mixing because mixing doesn’t take but 60 seconds, AT MOST.
  2. In medium bowl, use a spoon to stir together the Bisquick and Daiya. THEN add beer and stir VERY gently and not too much. Just so it barely comes together.
  3. Drop in 6 huge dollops on a cookie sheet. Chow.com said no oiling the sheet was needed but I used parchment paper as a liner anyway.
  4. Pop in the oven for about 12 to 15 minutes. All ovens vary so watch for the pointy tips of the dough to get tanned like George Hamilton. THEN they’re done.

You can see how tender these are and the Daiya is nice and melty.

These smelled so good baking, extra yeasty smell. I think the only thing I would do differently is add some herbs like basil, sage or rosemary. Ok, maybe a half teaspoon of garlic powder too. But really, they came out beyond my expectations. The first biscuit I’ve ever made that practically fell apart in my hands.

Look at the delicate texture inside!

I’ve just got to not make a habit of using Bisquick due to the whole partially hydrogenated soy and cottonseed oils. But Bisquick is dummy-proof. In fact, I’m thinking they need to redesign their packaging: